Updated: Jul 14
Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages has been creating a buzz in our community the past week. And I promised to share the other not-so-popular and mainstream side of it - the Fight languages! When we talk about love languages, we mainly talk about how we want to be loved. But every relationship will always have differences and it's healthy to have them. How we deal with these differences can decide how happy we will be in the relationship.
So what are the different Fight Languages:
Fight languages can broadly classify them into two major groups:
There are a group of people who want to talk about the issues right then and there when an issue confronts them. They prefer to talk things out immediately despite the heightened emotions. They do this because they cannot bear to fight their partner for so long, so they want to let it all out immediately and seek resolution and comfort immediately.
The other group of people wants to process the problem at hand. They want to take their time to think through the events. They prefer not to create immediately during heated arguments, so they wait till everything dies down and then bring up the conversation. They go contemplate and come back.
There is no right or wrong way to manage fights, so it is super important to understand each other’s fight languages.
Understand the 2 sets of people: Fight languages 🥊 #shorts https://www.youtube.com/shorts/kel4dxHoX6Q
Understand each other's category. Also, understand that there is no right or wrong way to seek a resolution in a fight/argument. If the person you are fighting with falls in the category of the first group and you fall in the second group then understand that for them, it is painful and difficult to not talk about things. Get them to understand that you need space to think and come back and you are not being indifferent or you don't care or you are walking away from the fight. Set a time for yourself to calm yourself down and come back and discuss. If you are not ready even after a few hours, or a few days - communicate this to them. If the person you are fighting with falls in the category of the second group and you fall in the first group then understand that you need to give them space and forcing them to solve things immediately is only going to hurt both of you. Communicate with love if you are feeling anxious about the time they are taking to come back and talk about it. Express your love language and tell them that if they need time and you are anxious or uncomfortable, they can love you with your love language so that you can give them their space to think about things. Then again. There is no right or wrong way, You just have to find a way that works for both of you 😊